I wish the world would shock me by saying something intelligent.Some people truly believe that they know everything, do they think their name is google?.If you are going to be two-faced at least make one of them pretty.Why you should smile and wave when someone insults you.By plans I mean I want to stay home and watch Netflix.You should never start your diet on a Monday.We can lie to the world, but not to ourselves.Stop bragging about being at the gym – nobody cares!.It is not okay to be 30 and still live with your parents.The true list of Christmas gifts I would like to give my family.It is probably wise to keep your Mom off of Facebook.Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.What is it with men and remote control buttons?.Why people calculate how many hours of sleep they will get.Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life.Stop telling people that your baby is 28 months old!.Why do we remember all the things we forgot to do once we are in bed?.Why do we panic when our phones fall but laugh when our friends do?.No, underarm farts are not an impressive party trick.Those who say they slept like a baby have obviously never had a baby.We all need a day in which we can be just as useless as the ‘g’ in lasagne.Alcohol clearly increases the size of the send button.Before you marry someone you should see how they react to slow internet.Most people make mistakes five or six times, just to be sure.Not everyone will like you and that is okay because not everyone has good taste.There is no need to sugar coat everything, we can’t all be Willy Wonka.You are not weird you are just a limited edition.Life feels very much like a test I didn’t study for.Adults these days can barely do Math without using a calculator but are always claiming to have X amount of problems.“We will see” means it’s probably not going to happen.A woman’s “I will be ready in 5 minutes” is the same as a man’s “I will be home in 5 minutes”. How many times is it appropriate to say “excuse me”, before you give up and nod instead?.Sometimes you will need to keep a contact number on your phone so that you can avoid their nuisance calls.Some of the bad decisions are necessary so you can have great stories to tell.I sometimes feel that the internet could do with a sarcasm font.When you get older you will regret not taking all those naps as a child.Nothing sucks more than when you are in the middle of an argument and realize that you are wrong.Wouldn’t it be great to have a six-month vacation twice a year?.We don’t mean to interrupt people’s conversations, it’s just that we remember random things and get really excited.The most dangerous animal out there is a silent woman.In order to understand what life is all about you should hang out with a three year old.Sometimes when you need expert advice you should just have a chat with yourself.Life should come with background music.We can lie but our facial expressions can’t.Yes, you should write that down, because you will forget.In order to become old and wise, you must first be young and stupid.The reason grass appears greener on the other side is because it is probably fake.Why getting lost is the best advice someone could give you.Vegetables have feelings – stop carrot cruelty.Which came first: the chicken or the egg?.Breakup insurance policy should be invented.Why you should never take on a food challenge.Blame your horoscope for why things went wrong.Should Trix stop its discrimination and make them for everyone?.List of Funny and Humorous Speech Topics Persuasive List of Funny and Humorous Speech Topics.
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